My report card-Draft One
I am not smart boy, always I get a extremely awful grade. The report card was sent out, I got a bad grades again. I took the report card to my dad agitatedly. I thought that I must be blamed by Dad. Dad watched the card in several moments, he didn’t say any words. I though it became more terrible. Then my dad didn’t blame me as well as he commended me. He talked to me that I did a good job, just needed to study hard. I was so happy that Dad could see my best, even though I didn’t get a good grade. I talked to my father that I will keep doing my best. One day I can be his proud.
posted by ：V，瀞 ”婷* @ 8:40 AM
7 Comments:
I am not smart boy
要加冠詞。
The report card was sent out, I got a bad grades again.
不能只用逗點隔開，要用and之類的。
Then my dad didn’t blame me as well as he commended me.
as well as he的he去掉因為主詞一樣。
Dad watched the card in several moments, he didn’t say any words.
→moments and didn’t
所有的逗號之後都注意一下吧要用個連接詞
I though it became more terrible.
→I felt more terrible for me.
I am not smart boy 要加「a」。
always I get a extremely awful grade.
→I get a extremely awful grades all of the time.
The report card was sent out
→用sent off
→the report前面加個when會比較順
in several moments用a few minutes
I though it became more terrible.
→though少t
I got a bad grades again.
應該不用加a了吧...??
I talked to my father that I will keep doing my best.
→改成would 會比較好噢ˇ
Then my dad didn’t blame me as well as he commended me.
→可以用Then my dad didn’t blame me and commended me instead.
I am not "a" smart boy
terrible是形容詞哦～改besetment看看
just needed to study hard.把它改成比較級會更好！
One day I can be his proud.
用must can be會不會好點？！
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